In His Sights Page 30

  Exhausted, Mason stood up and stretched. His mind was too clouded by shit. His being able to tell everyone he’d told them so in regards to the new terrorist group had been nice…for about an hour. Then came the realization of how easily all of the people he worked with, and for, had doubted him in the first place. It had only taken someone—namely Andrew—saying Mason had gone off the rails, for the people in charge to believe it. Not even giving Mason a chance to defend himself, instead immediately reprimanding him.

  Mason ran his fingers through his hair, ready to pull it out. “How can I go back into that atmosphere? It’s toxic.” What guarantee did he have something similar would never occur where they’d be back to questioning Mason? He couldn’t trust them to have his back.

  Mason squeezed his eyes closed, and his mind changed focus. He wasn’t just fucked up over work. He had Noah in his head, too. Mason had become quite accustomed to having Noah not only in his bed, but also in his heart. A cold chill held Mason’s body hostage as a shiver ran through it.

  He picked up the bottle in front of him and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

  “Fuck.” Even though he and Noah hadn’t climbed up onto the top of a UH—1Y Venom helicopter and shouted out their love for each other, Mason knew without doubt he was in love. However, he did have some misgivings about Noah’s feelings. But they’d only surfaced once Noah left. After what they’d gone through and Noah’s reaction to it, Mason had believed Noah felt the same way. But now, not so much. Mason needed Noah back so he could put all his reservations regarding their relationship aside. And soon, or Mason might be forced to head to Seattle and drag Noah home. Because again, without a doubt, this was where Noah belonged, with Mason. This was home.

  Mason picked up the glass and watched as the brown liquid swirled around. Drinking probably wasn’t the best idea. His body felt ready to shut down, his mind wishing it could, too. Adding alcohol to the mix just seemed like a bad idea. He tilted the glass over the sink and let the liquid run down the drain. He’d head to bed—force himself to get some much needed sleep.

  As Mason hit the light switch in his room, a knock on the front door startled him. Not in the mood to see anyone, never mind talk to them, he half thought of ignoring it. But when the next knock came with a little more force, he turned around and headed to open it.

  He opened the door and froze, his brain not believing what he saw.

  Noah wore a smile a mile wide. “You going to let me in? Or just stand there?”

  Mason’s whole body tingled. He fought to keep it together. “I’m not sure I’m in the mood to deal with an unexpected guest.”

  Mason wouldn’t believe it possible, but Noah’s smile grew. “Get out of the way, silly.”

  Mason moved just enough to let Noah fit through the door, his bag nearly not able to squeeze through. Before Noah could pass him, Mason grabbed on and buried his face into Noah’s neck. He inhaled deeply; making sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks. He couldn’t stop the wetness from hitting Noah’s shirt.

  “Hey, baby. What’s the matter?”

  Mason’s face heated. “Nothing. I’m sorry.” Mason burrowed his way in deeper, not wanting Noah to witness his state. He was tired. That’s all it was.

  “Come on, baby, really. What is it?” Noah sounded insistent. He dropped his bag and walked them farther into the house.

  When he shifted to release Mason, Mason tightened his grip. “Please let me just hold you like this. Let me feel you’re real.”

  “I’m real, baby. I’m real.” Noah peppered kisses on Mason’s head as Mason held on.

  They stood there as minutes passed, Mason not wanting to release Noah.

  Noah moved his hands up and down Mason’s back. “Hey, Mas. How about a kiss?”

  Mason wiped his face on Noah’s shoulder, then moved to meet Noah’s mouth. Mason couldn’t let the kiss be sweet. He moved in, using his tongue and teeth, he needed to taste Noah, to ensure he wasn’t an illusion. Noah went along, and put as much force into the kiss as Mason. They pulled apart when they both required air.

  “Are you ready to tell me what the hell is going on?”

  Mason closed his eyes for a second. “I’m just really tired.” Mason took a breath, then without planning to, added, “And I’m surprised you’re here.”

  “You sure that’s all? Seems like something more.”

  “It’s not. I promise. I’m just exhausted and really glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too.”

  Mason moved back in, taking Noah’s mouth. Mason’s hands tunneled under Noah’s shirt. His warm and smooth skin helped to calm Mason. Everything would be all right. Noah was there and everything would be okay.

  The thought of why Noah was there—why he’d shown up without telling Mason he’d planned to come—crossed Mason’s mind, but with the way he felt, he didn’t think he could ask. Still on edge, he feared a breakdown in front of Noah if he tried to have any type of discussion regarding Noah’s presence. Especially if Mason found out Noah wouldn’t be there for long. So instead of asking, he pulled his mouth from Noah’s and avoided eye contact by resting his head on Noah’s shoulder again.

  “Had a long day today. Can we move to the bedroom, get naked and snuggle?”

  “Everything okay with work?” Noah’s voice was laced with concern.

  The question lay heavy on Mason’s heart, making it more difficult for him to speak. “Yeah. Still have a lot of paperwork for the case. It’s draining.” There was no way Mason planned to tell Noah what was really going on in his head. Definitely not now. And depending how things went, maybe not ever. He’d first need to hear Noah’s intentions. But that would have to wait. Right then, Mason’s mind, body, and soul, couldn’t handle it.

  Mason slid out of Noah’s grip, took his hand, and led him to the bedroom.

  * * * *

  Noah lay still, his eyes open, focusing on the man lying up against him. With the sliver of moonlight peeking through the blinds, and the blanket half hanging off the bed, he enjoyed the view of Mason’s naked body. Noah let his hand slip up Mason’s hip. He absorbed the warmth radiating off Mason’s skin. How had he gotten so lucky? A little over a year ago, he fled Mason’s house like a scout done with a mission, never planning to see the man again. Now he lay in his bed, wrapped in his arms, and never wanted to let him go.

  Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure if Mason felt the same way. He had acted strangely when Noah had shown up. Noah wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but it hadn’t been tears or the sad expression Mason had worn.

  The thoughts of the talk he had to have with Mason swum through Noah’s head, causing his stomach to twist and goose bumps to prickle his skin. Was it too much, too fast? Something Mason would even be interested in? Noah didn’t have a clue, but he’d find out, because he planned to put his heart out there. He didn’t have any other choice. He’d been a chicken shit for too long; it was time he manned up. A former SEAL who acted like a plebe on his first day in the academy sent out on a black ops mission? Not anymore. Mason was worth all Noah had, all he was.

  Noah’s chest warmed as he stared at the peaceful expression on Mason’s face. Noah had never known how love would feel. He’d never experienced it before in his life. Even his relationship with his parents lacked feeling, their time spent together sparse. Noah’s mind traveled to his grandfather, the man who’d practically raised him while his parents had traveled from city to city, trying to find whatever they’d been searching for. The man had been a tyrant and had taught Noah the concept of his version of tough love at an early age. Through their interactions, Noah had a very distorted definition of that four-letter word in his head. As the memory crashed back in, Noah’s muscles tensed, and his head ached.

  Mason groaned, and his face scrunched up as if in pain. “‘S matter?” His words came out garbled by sleepiness.

  Noah cursed himself for letting his brain travel down that dark road and causing Mason distress. Noah moved his mouth to Mason’s
and placed a gentle kiss on the other man’s lips, savoring the flavor. “Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

  “Okay.” Mason smiled and burrowed his head against Noah’s neck.

  Mason’s breath flickered over Noah’s skin, warming it, causing Noah’s heartbeat to quicken and his eyes to burn. The love he felt for Mason was more than he ever thought possible. He took his left hand from around Mason, careful not to disturb him, and put it over his eyes, making sure to catch any tears before they fell.

  The next time he opened his eyes, he was alone. It took a second for his brain to comprehend why that feeling was wrong. He peered at the bathroom. It stood empty. His stomach dropped. Where was Mason? Noah spotted the clock on the bedside table and saw it was 09:30 A.M. Damn. Had Mason left for work already without waking Noah? That’s what he got for staying up half the night, thinking thoughts that should have been long gone.

  He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Nothing he could do now, except drag his lazy ass out of bed and figure out what he planned to do until Mason came home. Whenever that would be.

  Once he finished washing up, he put on some clothes. He stretched his arms over his head and yawned. He required coffee. When he opened the door, a noise came from the kitchen. Suspecting it’d come from the dishwasher, he stopped short in the doorway as his heart rate quickened. Mason stood at the sink, rinsing out a cup.

  Mason, turned around, his smile brilliant. “Good morning.”

  “Hey. Thought I missed you.”

  “Hmmm?” Mason turned off the water and stood staring at Noah, his eyebrows raised, and a frown marred his face.

  “Thought you’d already left for work.”

  “Nope. Took the day off.”

  “You’re okay with that?” Noah asked as his stomach tingled. He was happy to have the time with Mason, but he didn’t want to make more work for the man. Especially with how exhausted Mason had been the night before.

  “Didn’t even give it a second thought.”

  Noah couldn’t help the smile that moved his lips. That meant he wouldn’t be able to put off his talk with Mason. And although that made his eye twitch, and his mouth go dry, his spending time with Mason overrode all his nervousness.

  Mason grabbed a coffee mug and handed it to Noah. Noah leaned in and took Mason’s mouth and the cup at the same time. The kiss happened in slow motion, as Noah’s lips lingered. The flavor of coffee and Mason mixed, caused Noah to moan. With one hand he held onto the cup, while with the other, his fingers threaded in Mason’s hair, pulling him closer. They lined their bodies up and put their mouths to work, memorizing each other. Noah’s brain went haywire. His only thoughts were how much he needed this man in his life, always.

  When they pulled apart, Noah found it hard to catch his breath, and from the gulp Mason took, it appeared as if he had the same problem.

  It took both men a moment to collect themselves.

  “I don’t have any food. Haven’t had time to head to the grocery. Feel like driving into town and grabbing something to eat?”

  “Do you have stuff you need to get done?”

  “Already told you, I called in to work. I’m free.”

  “All right. Just thought maybe you might have something else going on. I’m good with a trip to town.”

  “Yeah. Then we can come back here and hang out.”

  Noah’s stomach dropped and his body tensed. That would be the perfect time to talk. “Sounds great.”

  They ended up at the diner closest to the park. It was empty, and they were served fast. Noah was grateful there hadn’t been time for small talk as he was still trying to get together what he had to say. He found himself shoveling the food into his mouth as fast as he could. He didn’t want to linger, giving Mason chance to finish first then try to fill the gap with conversation. Conversation that might push Noah into his talk sooner than he was ready. When he finished his food, Mason still had more to go. So instead of sitting there waiting for Mason to break the silence, Noah excused himself and headed toward the bathroom.

  When he came back and sat down, he spotted Mason’s empty dish sitting on the table. Noah immediately called the waitress over, asking her for the check. Mason had a strange expression on his face but didn’t say anything, allowing Noah to release some of his tension. He had money out of his pocket before the waitress even made it over to their table. With the bill paid, both men stood up and walked out.

  Mason started the truck. The cab remained quiet until Mason pulled out of the parking lot. “Think we should just hang around the house today, if that’s okay with you. I’m still tired. Not really up to going out.”

  Noah took a breath. He needed to get over himself, and talk to Mason. With them home, instead of spending the day out and dreading the talk, the conversation would come sooner rather than later. And that was something Noah would just have to deal with. “Okay.”

  * * * *

  Mason walked into the house. Something was wrong. Noah’s actions, and the tension radiating off him while out at the restaurant, were cause for concern. Something was up with him. Noah had appeared on edge, and Mason had a strong suspicion it had to do with the two of them being out in public together. He’d thought they’d passed that point. That things were good between them, more relaxed, and Noah was okay with their relationship, or whatever he wanted to call it. But now, Noah’s actions had Mason second-guessing everything and feeling pretty shitty about it.

  “I have to use the bathroom, why don’t you pick something for us to watch.” Mason moved quickly past Noah.

  Noah shook his head and strolled toward the living room.

  Mason needed a moment by himself to get his thoughts back in order. He closed the bathroom door and stood over the sink. Staring at himself in the mirror, the pain in his eyes was obvious. He had to get rid of it before walking back into the living room. He couldn’t believe how wrong he’d been about Noah’s feelings. Or maybe he wasn’t. Maybe Noah did care about him, but wasn’t willing to share those feelings with the world. Mason wasn’t sure which would be worse. Not having Noah? Or having him while keeping it a secret from everyone who mattered? Mason splashed cold water on his face and headed back out to the living room. By the time he arrived, Noah had already started a movie.

  They spent the day watching movies. And the atmosphere in the room changed drastically from that in the restaurant.

  Mason leaned against Noah. One of Mason’s legs thrown over Noah’s rested on the foot stool, and their hands, entwined, sat on Noah’s lap. The sound of the television acted as white noise; Mason gave up watching the movie shortly after it’d started.

  His focus strayed to the man next to him, wearing a lazy smile and laughing at corny one-liners. If Mason could take this moment and freeze it in time, that’s just what he’d do. No worrying about his future—where he planned to go from here—back to the FBI or move on—where would his relationship with Noah go—if Noah even wanted a relationship? With that, another thought came to him, why wasn’t he discussing these questions with Noah, at least the relationship ones? What reason did he have for pushing it off—waiting until when Noah left, was out the door, leaving Mason to wonder when he’d hear from him again—that was stupid on so many levels.

  “Hey?” Noah brought their hands to his lips and kissed them. “What has your mind racing a mile a minute? And don’t try telling me it’s this movie.”

  Mason laughed. “Just thinking how nice this is.”

  “It is.” Noah leaned over, as he slid their hands up to his heart, and kissed Mason. Noah’s lips touched Mason’s with a feathered lightness.

  Mason’s chest tightened. They were great together. Couldn’t Noah see that? Feel it? If so, how could he not want to take their relationship further? Or maybe he did want a relationship. One they kept secret. Could Mason live with that? The past two hours caused Mason to think he’d misread Noah earlier at the diner. But as he remembered the time in his head, he knew he hadn’t, and the only
way to find out what was going on was to ask. Stop wimping out and get at least some of his questions out in the open. “Can we talk?”

  “I want to talk—”

  Their words came out at the same time, then both men looked at each other and laughed.

  “You go first,” Mason said gallantly, hoping to give his fluttering stomach some time to relax, at least as long as Noah talked.

  “You sure?” Noah asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “I went on the interview yesterday.”

  Mason knew. Hell, he’d been dying to ask how the meeting had gone, but from the fact Noah hadn’t mentioned anything, Mason thought perhaps the job hadn’t worked out.

  “I spoke with Cooper, one of the guys who started THE Company, and had a chance to meet a couple of the other original members as well. Couldn’t really talk long with them as they were on their way out on a mission, but they all seemed cool. We discussed some of the work they take on. It’s really diverse, but the area he thought I’d fit in best with is the jobs where they work alongside or in place of the military. He explained that with the drawing back of troops, there’s a real need for people to go in where Special Forces once trekked, and that’s one of the niches their company fills. He gave me some general examples of some of their past missions.”

  “Noah, that’s amazing.”

  “Yeah, and their main headquarters are in Vermont.”

  Mason’s stomach knotted. Vermont. That was three states away. Holy fuck. With Noah that close, why couldn’t they have a relationship? When he wasn’t working on an active case, he’d been able to sneak off one or two weekends every other month to hook up with his old fuck buddy, and that was just for sex. With Noah it was so much more, and Mason would make the time for them to get together.

  “But they’re okay with wherever I choose to live. Except for a couple months out of the year, I could work remotely as long as I have access to internet and an airport.”

  Mason’s heart slowed and his eyes burned. There went his idea. Noah wasn’t moving, he had no reason to, and Seattle was too far for him and Mason to have any type of serious relationship.